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As
they journeyed on towards their next destination in time they all changed
into ordinary clothes and The Doctor vowed that was the last period costume
he was going to wear for a LONG time. The next destination black leather
would have to do.
Rose, who was still ourning the beautiful
white dress with the pearls that she had left behind, teased him with
how lovely he looked in tights. He responded by chasing her around the
console and tickling her when he caught her. She shrieked with laughter
and his eyes were bright with the simple fun, but then his gaze fell upon
his great-grandchildren, sitting quietly on the White House sofa. Chris
had his legs hunched up under his chin and his arms folded over them as
he stared dully at nothing. Davie was cross legged watching him. The Doctor
looked silently for a long minute then he went to them. He sat down and
pulled Chris onto his knee.
"What's wrong, son?" he asked,
and Chris dissolved into tears. The Doctor hugged him tightly and looked
at his twin quizzically.
"It's about that man. The one we helped
escape. Chris is feeling rotten because he's going to die horribly anyway
in another ten years."
"I should have realised," The Doctor
said. "My boy, what can I tell you?" He looked and saw that
Chris was still wearing the silver crucifix the seminarian had given him,
now outside his clothes. "You have every right to wear that, and
to be proud. You helped that man - not only by helping him escape, but
in the little act of kindness you did, unbidden, when you first saw him.
You boys were both
very brave and you did right. In that instance we HAD to intervene. But
Chris, we CAN'T prevent his eventual execution. That IS his destiny. We
can't alter that. He was a brave man who lived with the threat of death
every day. I am sure he faced his execution just as courageously. But
it is not something we can change."
"It's not fair. He was a good man."
"Yes," The Doctor agreed. "So
was Rose's dad, and he died, and we couldn't stop it. And she cried like
this, too." He looked at Rose, who bit her lip at the reminder of
the painful time when she HAD tried to save her dad and nearly caused
the end of all life on Earth. "That's the penalty of our way of life,
Chris. Having to stand by sometimes and accept the inevitable."
"But how do we know?" Davie asked. "How did we know it
was all right to save him today but not in ten years?"
"Experience and sound judgement,"
The Doctor said. "And you'll learn that, in time. I'll help you to
learn some of it. The rest you'll learn yourselves the hard way, by making
mistakes. Hopefully ones you can put right - but sometimes ones that will
weigh on your consciences and cause you pain. This wasn't one of them.
We did the right thing. So don't be sad about it."
"Have you made mistakes, Granddad?" Davie asked.
"Yes, yes I have. And I HAVE felt guilty for them."
"The Gelth," Rose said quietly.
"Gwyneth…"
"Yes, that was one time," he said.
"I was taken in by creatures who claimed to want my help. But they
deceived me, and an innocent girl died. And Rose and I will never forget
her. I may forget some of my triumphs, but my failures burn in my hearts
forever. And all I can promise you, my boys, is that you will make the
same mistakes if you follow in my footsteps. And sometimes your hearts
will burn in pain. But sometimes you will be able to make differences
- small ones like you did today - or large ones like when your dad and
his comrades rid the Earth of Daleks - with a LITTLE help from me. We
live to make those differences for the good. And that's why we keep doing
it. But sometimes there IS pain involved - and guilt, and sorrow. And
I would be lying if I said otherwise."
"I wish I knew his name," Chris said touching the crucifix.
"You don't need to know," The Doctor assured him. "You
knew he was a good man."
"I knew your granddad was a good man, long before I knew his name."
Rose said with a smile. "And I knew I loved him. And he doesn't even
let me CALL him by his name."
"Why not?" Chris asked him. "Are you ashamed of your name?"
"Certainly not," he said. "It's just such a nuisance to
spell."
Chris laughed at that, and The Doctor wiped the last tears from his eyes
and hugged him. "Just be glad you both have nice simple names that
are easy to write down."
"We have Gallifreyan names too," Davie said. "Mum taught
them to us when we were little and swore us never to tell anyone at school."
"She did?"
"Yes," Chris said. "I'm Chrístõdavõreendiamœndhærtmallõupdracœfiredelunmian
cuimhnemilágrolúzio de Lœngbærrow-Campbell."
"And I'm Davõreenchrístõdiamœndhærtmallõupdracœfiredelunmiancuimhnemilágro
dánte de Lœngbærrow-Campbell." Davie recited.
"She carried on the tradition," The Doctor said, his eyes shining.
"She DOES remember. Luzio… Chris, she called you her light
- Luzio is Italian for the light. And Dante… means steadfast. Susan
was always such a romantic. Bless her."
"She named them both after you," Rose said.
"Yes," The Doctor said. "In her way she did. David is the
closest English equivalent of Davõreen, and Christopher is close
enough to Chrístõ. But I think it's better if the world
at large thinks Davie is named after his dad and Chris after my son -
his granddad. I think the way David feels at the moment we're not going
to leave him out of the loop, anyway. But… between us… I am
so glad your mum remembered the tradition. You really ARE my heirs."
"Doctor!" Rose screamed as the
TARDIS suddenly lurched and dropped out of the time vortex. The next moment
they were materialising. The Doctor ran to the console.
"We should still be an hour away from landing. We've come out somewhere
completely at random. I HATE it when this happens. We could be anywhere."
He checked the database. "And of course when we land somewhere unscheduled
you can ALWAYS guarantee that the buffer sheds the memory before it permanently
records the coordinate. So I can't use it to re-plot our true destination."
All of that technical detail went right over Rose's head. Her question
was, as always, "Where are we? And when."
"Oh!" The Doctor groaned. "THAT
year again. And WHY is it that the TARDIS always manages to wind up in
the worst possible place for any given time? We could have landed on July
1st, 1916, in Euston Station at rush hour. But that peculiar version of
sods law that our TARDIS works by dictated we'd be in no-man's-land in
the battle of the Somme. And guess what would be the worst place in the
universe to land on Wednesday, April 26th, 1916!"
"I have no idea," Rose admitted, smiling at his way of putting
things even though she guessed they were somewhere bad.
"Not
your fault," The Doctor said. "This is one of the big holes
in the education system of your country. They teach you all the details
about embarrassing male attire of the 1590s but they never teach you about
important events that impacted on the entire century you come from. For
the record, we are in Ireland, specifically Dublin, and very specifically,
on the second floor of the General Post Office, which is currently occupied
by a small band of Irish insurgents fighting for the independence of their
country against artillery bombardment from the British army at the other
end of the street."
"Oh." Rose said. She looked at the viewscreen but all she could
see was a dimly lit office and a high window looking out on a square of
sky. "So… who are the good guys in that? And whose side are
we on?"
"Very good question," The Doctor mused. "Most of the time
I've spent on Earth I've lived in England. I suppose if I HAD a nationality
it would be British. I have worked closely with the British military through
U.N.I.T. for a long time and have a lot of respect for them. But…
right here and now, I'm with the rebels. They had an honest belief in
what they were doing and it is one of history's great tragedies that they
failed. Its also one of those occasions I WISH I could do something to
help." He looked at the boys as he said that. "But there really
are some events that you CAN'T interfere in. This is one of them. Even
though changing things now would make for a much more peaceful century
for this country, and for yours, Rose, and though I have often been tempted
to do SOMETHING, I really CAN'T."
"So what are we going to do?" Rose asked. "Are we getting
out of here?"
"Yes," he said. "Soon. Call
me stupid and sentimental, but I have a friend who was in the thick of
this battle, and I would really like to talk to him. This is no place
for any of you. Susan would KILL me if I deliberately took you boys into
a war zone and Rose, it wouldn't be my first choice of a romantic interlude
with you, either. So please… for once in your lives, STAY here.
I am going out for maybe half an hour at the most. Then I'll be back and
we can go find a warm beach someplace where they serve drinks with umbrellas
in."
He kissed Rose quickly on the cheek and slipped
out of the door. She looked at the closed door and wondered if she ought
to be annoyed at him for leaving her behind. It did SOUND dangerous, and
yet what he had described sounded so interesting.
The Doctor stepped out of the room and was
met on the stairwell beyond by a startled young man who appeared to be
on sentry duty. The sentry spoke to him in what he recognised as rather
halting Irish, the equivalent in that language of "Who goes there,
friend or foe?" The Doctor replied in a much more confident tone
in the same language - his five billion languages included every one that
was spoken on Earth. When he reverted to English, having exhausted all
the Irish the sentry knew he had a passable local accent. Sounding like
he came from Manchester was not a good idea right now.
"Well, if you're a friend of the General's,
y ou'd
better come with me," the sentry said, and they began to descend
the stairs. They had gone down one flight when there was a devastating
noise and the floor beneath their feet, the ceiling above, and even the
walls around them, shook.
The Doctor knew what it was straight away.
An artillery shell had crashed through the roof of the building - right
over where the TARDIS was.
He ran back up the stairs and through the
door to the office they had materialised in. He just managed to stop himself
falling down the gaping hole where the floor used to be. He knelt over
the wreckage and right down to the basement through the wreckage. The
TARDIS was NOT there. It must have dematerialised accidentally when it
was hit.
"Rose!" He screamed out loud as
fear and grief overwhelmed him. And too late realised that was a big mistake.
The roof and ceiling above were badly damaged and the sound of his scream
was all it took to cause a secondary fall of masonry. The last thing he
knew as he was knocked unconscious was the young sentry pulling him back
through the door.
Rose picked herself up from the floor and put her hand up to her bruised
forehead. She looked around. "Boys… are you all right?"
Davie stood up dizzily.
"I am… but I think Chris is hurt."
Rose forgot her own sore head as she ran to the child. He was slumped
on the floor. She remembered the shocking crash that had sent them all
flying. Chris had been pitched across the drive console in the same way
they showed people thrown over car bonnets in those shock tactic road
accident adverts. To her relief, he was not badly injured. Those images
that flashed into her head had made her think the worst. But even as she
held him in her arms he started to come round.
"I can't find granddad," he murmured
as he opened his eyes and clung to Rose.
"He's not here," Rose told him. "He went outside. He'll
be back soon."
"No… no he won't," Davie gasped looking at the viewscreen.
Rose looked up and her heart dropped to her stomach. They were in the
time vortex. When Chris fell across the console the TARDIS must have dematerialised
and now they were….
"Granddad!" Chris cried out and
clung to Rose even more tightly. "Granddad, where ARE you?"
"He's where we were," Rose told
him soothingly. "I'm sure he's fine. We just need to work out how
to get back to him."
"You don't understand," Davie told
her. "What Chris means… he can't FIND him. Neither can I. We…
we can't find him in our minds."
"Oh!" Rose's heart felt as if it
had turned to lead as she realised the implications of what he had said.
The Doctor and the boys could make mental contact with each other through
light years of space and thousands of years of time. Since they had been
travelling together, they had been almost continuously linked together,
sharing their thoughts. If the link was broken - if they couldn’t
reach him - he was either dead or so badly hurt that it didn’t bear
thinking about.
She stood up, leaving Davie to comfort his
brother. She went to the console and tried to make sense of it. The screen
that usually gave their time and place was just streaming out figures.
The wheel that turned to determine how far into time to take them was
spinning on its own. Rose put her
hand on it to slow it as she had seen The Doctor do many times. It grazed
her hand, it was going so fast, but she felt it slowing. And as it did,
so did the figures on the screen, which she realised now were not random,
but were dates running backwards. She increased the pressure on the wheel
and it finally slowed to a stop.
She looked at the final date. April 23rd,
1014. They had moved 900 years and three days backwards in time from where
they had started.
"Well, it's a date," she said looking up at the reassuring sight
of the Earth from space. They had come out of the vortex into orbit around
it. And she KNEW how to land the TARDIS. He let her do it often. She pushed
the sliding lever and held it while turning the switch 180 degrees clockwise
and held on as she felt the TARDIS's engines change in tempo. The materialisation
sound was the most welcome noise she could imagine.
She switched on the viewscreen and stared in horror as a Viking warrior
had his head slashed from his body by a man wielding a huge sword. She
ran to the console again and put them back into temporal orbit. The only
place she and The Doctor had EVER had a moment's peace and quiet.
"April 23rd, 1014 was the Battle of Clontarf," Davie told her.
"Where the bloody hell is Clontarf?" she asked.
"Dublin… about ten miles from where we were before," the
boy replied. "We've done loads of Earth history with granddad. Way
more than we learnt at school."
"Was there a year when there wasn't
a war going on in Ireland?" Rose asked. "Never mind, don't answer
that. Just… tell me what to do. I know you're only ten, but he taught
you loads of stuff about thermodynamics and temporal physics and…
and I don't know any of that stuff."
She sank down on the floor, crying. She was
worried for them. She was desperately worried for The Doctor. She had
never been apart
from him like this since they first met. Even when they had been separated
they were usually on the same planet in the same time zone. Her heart
and head ached for him. She needed him so much to be her reassurance,
her constant. She didn't know what to do without him.
"Don't give up, Rose," Davie said,
touching her hand. She looked up into the ten year old's dark brown eyes.
They talked so much older than their years because of the things they
had learnt from The Doctor. Chris, though he still looked pale, came to
her as well. They both hugged her. She was so glad they were there. If
she'd been alone, she didn't know what to do. She still didn't know what
to do, but she knew Davie was right. They couldn't give up.
"We don't know how to fly the TARDIS," Chris said. "Granddad
was going to teach us that next. But we'll try to help."
"We have to get back to him." Rose
stood up and went to the computer console. Even in temporal orbit it was
connected to the internet. She keyed in the handful of knowledge she knew
about the events in Dublin he had told her about before he left the TARDIS.
She found thousands of sites. They might not teach about it in British
schools, but it was something people had been writing about for decades.
And it didn't take long before she knew how desperate HIS situation was.
The Doctor woke slowly and painfully and
focussed on the face of a man who looked anxiously down at him. 
"You took a bad crack to the head,"
the man said in a pleasant Irish accent. "But you're going to be
all right."
"It doesn't feel all right," he said as he put his hand to his
forehead. His head ached inside and out and he felt a little sick. "Rose…"
he cried out.
"Who is Rose?" the man asked.
"She's…" He paused. He wasn't sure who she was, except
that he could see her face in his mind and he knew she was special to
him. So were the children whose faces came to his mind as well. "My
wife, I think. She was with me… and the children. Then there was
an explosion."
"Well, they're not here," the man
said. "You were alone. And…" He paused a moment. "I
had somebody check out the damage the shell caused. There were no bodies
in the wreckage."
"Then… where are they? And where am I?" He sat up and
looked around, taking in the military uniforms and armed men at the windows
of the large room he was in.
"Who are you?" the man asked him. "I had the vaguest notion
I did know you at first, but now I'm not so sure. I… I thought you
were a friend. I hope you are, because we have enough enemies out there."
"I'm…" he paused for a moment
and rubbed his brow. "I'm The Doctor." That much he was sure
of. That's what Rose called him, though even in his dazed state he thought
it was an odd thing for his wife to call him.
"Doctor?" the man looked at him then around at the rather pathetic
field hospital where red cross nurses were tending other injured men.
"We NEED a Doctor. Perhaps fate has done us ONE good turn this day.
When you're feeling better…"
He sat up and looked around, too. Slowly
his
brain was piecing things together. He was starting to know WHERE he was
at least. He looked at the man. He was about his own height and age, with
dark hair and slate-grey eyes that were remarkably like his own. How did
he know what colour his own eyes were? Perhaps some things you just know
even when your brain has been scrambled. And though he didn't quite know
who he was he felt he actually was a kindred spirit with this man. He,
too, when he saw that something was wrong, would try to right it.
"General Pearse…" A young
soldier approached the man and gave him a piece of paper that he read
quickly and wrote an instruction on the back before returning it.
"You're Patrick Pearse, the leader of
the Irish Volunteers. And yes, we have met before, a long time ago. I
probably looked different…" Why did he say that? He wasn't
sure. His memories didn't seem to connect together. He felt as if he had
more than one person's memories in his head for one thing. And none of
them seemed to go together with the other to make any kind of sense. "We
WERE friends. I warned you about letting your passions get the better
of you. I… I see you didn't take my advice."
Pearse looked at him and remembered, or thought he did, being given that
advice by this man, many years ago. Yes, he did seem to look different,
but…
"Power of suggestion," The Doctor thought, then wondered what
that meant and why he had thought it.
"The Post Office burnt down two days
after we were there…" Rose managed to say through the tight
knot in her throat. "The rebels evacuated, but many of them were
shot down in the race for safety." She swallowed hard. "If we
don't get back to him, he could either be burnt or shot."
"He'll be all right," Chris assured
her. "Granddad is clever. He'll work something out."
"Can't he use the TARDIS key to bring us back on remote autopilot?"
Rose asked, suddenly thinking of the many times they had done that. "No,
I suppose that only works when the TARDIS is on the same planet as him."
"Rose,"
Davie said. "Look at the computer." She turned and where there
had been web-pages before, it was blinking mauve and white and two files
were displayed. One said "Rose's home co-ordinates." The other
said "Susan's home co-ordinates." She clicked on the two files
one by one. They were simple text files with a long co-ordinate in each
one, that was all.
The TARDIS is telling us to go home," Davie said. "It's shown
us how to get back to mum and dad and you how to get back to where you
live. It thinks we should do that."
"NO!" Rose screamed. "No, I won't leave him."
"He could be dead," Davie told her. "He was outside when
the explosion happened. He wasn't protected." The boy had tears in
his eyes as he said that. The thought that his great-grandfather was dead
hurt him deeply.
"He's not dead." The certainty in Chris's voice as he spoke
made Rose and his brother both look around at him. "He's just…
not himself."
"You've made contact?" Of the two,
though he loved them equally, and had no favourites, Chris had always
seemed to be the one closest to The Doctor emotionally. If anyone COULD
make contact with him, it was him. "What do you mean he's not himself?
Do you mean… Ooh! Tell me he hasn't had to regenerate?"
"No. He'd still be the same inside his
head. Its… He's confused. He doesn't know… He doesn't seem
to know I'm there, or that he can talk to me. But he's thinking of us.
And he is feeling bad. He doesn't know where we are and he misses us."
"I miss him," Rose said. "Is there any way you can tell
him that?"
Chris shook his head. "I've been trying but he can't hear me."
"Stay with him. Don't let go."
Chris sat on the sofa. Mental connections were tiring. The Doctor always
connected with the boys in deep meditation, so that his body was resting
while he had the mental connection. But he must have been right about
the boys having greater abilities than his own. Chris looked a little
'spaced out' - although that could have been from his fall - but otherwise
he was wide awake and aware of his surroundings as well as trying to reach
into his great grandfather's thoughts and determine what was happening.
"If he's not dead, then I'm not going to give up," Rose said.
"We know the date. We can programme the time co-ordinate. And surely
the computer can get us a map of Dublin?"
The Doctor WAS thinking of them. Even though he still wasn't entirely
sure who they were. He pictured Rose. HIS Rose. That phrase came to mind.
It was what he called her, though when he thought of her as his wife that
did not seem to ring true. Though he knew he loved her. The choked up
but strangely happy feeling in his chest when he thought of her told him
that. But if she wasn't his wife, then how did they have children? He
had concentrated hard and knew the boys names now. Chris and Davie. They
were named after him. That information puzzled him even more, because
although he didn't know what his own name was, he had the strangest feeling
that it WASN'T either Christopher or David.
His immediate surroundings were less puzzling.
He knew everything. Including things that hadn’t happened yet. He
looked at the men around him and knew which were going to survive, which
were going to die in the battle, which were going to die against a prison
wall in a volley of bullets as punishment for their rebellious actions.
His eye fell on his friend, Pearse, and the man by his side as they stood
at a table looking over maps of the city. When the Rising was over, Pearse
would be one of the first to be court-martialled and executed. The man
by his side, James Connolly, his second in command, would be one of the
last. His execution had to be delayed because he was so badly injured.
And even then they had to sit him in a chair in front of his executioners.
He saw all of that so clearly. It was a matter
of historical record. It was unnerving to see them there, alive, and knowing
their fate. He wondered about this power he seemed to have that let him
know these things. Was it a gift or a curse?
He put it from his mind. His job in the here
and now was to tend the wounded. And he did it quickly and efficiently,
doing all he could to ease the suffering of men with bullet wounds, cuts,
burns, some serious, some fatal, some not so serious.
Even that puzzled him a little. Something
told him that even though he was called DOCTOR - that was the only name
he was sure DID belong to him - he was NOT a medical doctor.
And yet, he WAS. He knew exactly how to look
after the patients in his care. The calm looks on their faces when he
had tended to them told him he had done well. Most came to him screaming
and hurt. Now, as an uneasy end came to the day, the darkness of the night
turned to orange by fires that had broken out all over the city, most
of his patients were stable. He was able to lie quietly on a pallet near
them and tried to rest. His aching body was resting at least, but his
mind wouldn't relax. He wasn't sure it should. He was still so confused
he wasn't sure he would have any memories at all if he let go. And he
didn't want to lose those precious comforting memories of the people he
loved. WHOEVER they were - whoever HE was.

Rose punched in the time co-ordinates for April 26th, 1916 on the navigation
console. She added the nearest thing she could get to a space co-ordinate.
A map reference for the building the TARDIS had materialised in - the
General Post Office. She pressed the key that should make the TARDIS accept
the co-ordinates and start the journey. Nothing happened. There weren't
enough figures in the co-ordinate. It needed more than a longitude and
latitude from on the planet. It needed to know WHICH planet.
"Star maps," Rose murmured. "This thing must have star
maps."

The rebellion was not going well. The Doctor knew that,
not only from the strange foreknowledge he had that told him it would
all be over by the weekend, but also from the anxious, strained faces
of those around him as Thursday morning progressed. His job, though difficult,
with very little in the way of medicines and equipment, and more and more
patients to treat, was a lot less stressful than being the leader of this
rebel army. He looked at his friend, Pearse, and a memory came to him
of meeting him years before, in a quieter place, and
talking about poetry and literature. He was a teacher, and a writer. In
a million years he wasn't a soldier. But somewhere along the line he'd
become one, for the sake of his country. And he was ready to sacrifice
his life for it.
I did the same, he thought to himself, and
then wondered where the thought came from. When had he been a fighter?
When had he fired a shot in anger? He just knew he had. He knew he had
once been in a worse battle than this one, with even worse consequences,
an even more dreadful failure than this rebellion was, and the memory
of it, the memory he couldn't even recall right now, was a burden he carried
through his life.
Rose kicked the console in frustration. She
just couldn't get the TARDIS to accept any permutation of the co-ordinate
that would get them back to where and when The Doctor was. She had tried
for hour after hour. The boys had fallen asleep together on the sofa for
a while, and Chris had woken in a panic, afraid he would have lost even
the tentative mental link to his great-grandfather. When he tried, he
quickly made contact, but the story was the same. He still seemed unaware
of Chris's presence, and seemed unsure of himself. But he seemed to be
thinking of them all the same. 
Rose puzzled over what Chris said. It sounded
as if he was suffering from some kind of partial amnesia. That wouldn't
be anything new, from what he had told her of his life. 950 years of being
zapped by radiation and memory modifiers and x rays and whatever, had
wiped chunks of his memory anyway. But now, he really did seem as if he
had lost it all. That was a frightening thought. The only comfort she
could think of was those two files with the co-ordinates that would get
them home. If he was that badly hurt, at least she could take him to Susan's.
They could look after him between them. The two of them would always love
him even if he had forgotten that he loved them.
"He hasn't forgotten us," Chris
assured her. "He just doesn't know who we are. He knows he loves
us though."
"He thinks you're his wife," Davie told her. "He's so mixed
up, he thinks of you as his wife, and he thinks we're his children."
"If - WHEN - we get him back, he can
think what he likes." Rose kicked the panel again and the TARDIS
seemed to respond with a slightly different glow to the central column.
"Oh stop complaining," she shouted at it. "And help us.
YOU left him behind. SHOW us how to get back."
Maybe it was coincidence, but the computer screen that she had put into
standby suddenly turned on again and the co-ordinate for Susan's home
blinked urgently. She stared at it.
"What?" she asked the console. "Is THAT a message? A clue?
You can't be telling me to give up. YOU need him as much as we do. He's
as much a part of you as he's a part of us."
"Rose." Davie stepped beside her,
slipping his hand in hers. "Mum knows about the TARDIS. She can help
us."
"What?"
Rose stared at him, at Chris, then back at the console. "Is THAT
what its trying to tell me? Was it that obvious?" Susan had told
her ages ago that she grew up on board the TARDIS. She and The Doctor
travelled in it for more than twelve Earth years. She must understand
it better than anyone. And after all she WAS Gallifreyan. And she had
HIS DNA. She ought to be able to operate it.
"She's going to be so angry with him."
"WHEN we get him back, she can be as angry as she wants," Davie
said.
Rose smiled at the way he had re-used her own words and punched in the
co-ordinate for the carport at Susan's house in 2208.

The day had got MUCH worse. They were under constant artillery attack,
although, apparently, the Post Office itself was a harder target to hit
than the buildings around it. Unless that was a deliberate tactic to wear
the rebels down and force them to surrender. But they seemed to be made
of sterner stuff than that and though faces were strained they didn't
even think of giving up yet. Though he knew they would in a few more days.
The real blow was when Connolly, was wounded.
Just after midday he stumbled in, white-faced and clearly in pain from
an ankle wound that, when The Doctor examined it, made him wonder how
he could have walked at all. What he guessed was a ricochet bullet had
shattered the ankle leaving fragments of bone inside the wound that would
need micro-surgery to remove. In this place, and this time, it was impossible.
"No
drugs," Connolly told him as The Doctor began to prepare a morphine
injection. "Don't want the men to think I'm weak."
"Don't be daft," he said. "You need a painkiller. It's
not strong. Just enough to dull the pain."
"No. Besides, that stuff's addictive."
"You think you're going to live long enough to get a habit?"
The Doctor asked.
Connolly grinned.
"Maybe not. But even so…."
"Ok." He put down the syringe and, looking around to see if
anyone was watching, he put his hand on Connolly's forehead. Concentrating
hard he found his pain receptors and blocked them. "Is that better?"
"Good Lord! What did you do?" Connolly
looked at The Doctor. "Nobody seems to know who you are, or where
you're from, but they all reckon you're a miracle worker."
"Maybe I am," The Doctor said. He wasn't sure how he'd done
what he'd just done. He just knew he COULD get into people's heads and
stop their pain.
"You sound British…"
"No," he said without even thinking. "I'm Gallifreyan."
"Never heard of it. Where's that? Sounds Greek or something."
"Could be," he said. Though he doubted it was. Again, the words
had come from deep in his mind. They sounded right. Though he did not
know what they meant. "I'm a long way from home, a long way from
everyone I love."
"I can understand that. Can't help wondering
when I'll see my wife and children again." Connolly sighed. "But
I don't regret it. We did what we had to do. We had to make a stand."
"Hold that thought," The Doctor
told him. "People will be saying otherwise for generations so be
sure in your own mind that you believe it."
"You're a strange man, Doctor,"
Connolly said. "Healing hands, and the gift of sight. There are those
that say so anyway. I'm meant to be a hard-boiled socialist that doesn't
believe in anything. I'll reserve judgement." 
"I believe Humanity is basically good
and worth fighting for," The Doctor said.
"I used to think that, until the war
began and working men fought each other instead of the ones who are really
to blame."
"I just try to do what I can and not lose faith," The Doctor
answered. "One day, Humanity will work it out. That I do know."
How he knew THAT, he didn't know. He seemed
to have some strange certainties in a head full of uncertainties.
The one thing he was most sure of was that
at least three people in the universe loved him, and missed him and were
hoping to see him again alive. They were a good reason to stay alive,
at least.
It was almost a relief when the TARDIS materialised in
the carport. Almost, because they still had to face Susan. Or rather,
Rose did. The boys refused to leave the TARDIS.
"If we leave, mum will never let us
in again," Chris reasoned. "You have to go fetch her in here."
There was a certain logic in that, even if
it was the logic of a ten year old. Rose told them to sit tight and DEFINITELY
not to touch anything, and opened the TARDIS door. She stepped out and
went to the door that led from the carport to the house. It was unlocked.
She stepped inside. There was music playing - Cliff Richard. Rose smiled
despite herself. She could hear somebody moving around.
"Susan," she called as she moved through the house. "Susan,
are you there?"
Susan was in the kitchen feeding the baby,
Sukie, in her high chair. When she saw Rose, on her own, and the look
on her face, she knew at once something was wrong. Her face went white.
"The boys…"
"They're ok," Rose assured her. "They're outside, in the
TARDIS. But…" She couldn't quite suppress a sob as she told
Susan that her grandfather was lost. Susan's face turned even paler as
Rose quickly explained the situation.
"He went out of the TARDIS and left
you and the children on your own? The irresponsible idiot."
"It wasn't his fault," Rose said.
"We think he must be hurt. And we have to find him. There isn't much
time. He could be in real trouble."
"But Rose… I don't know much more
about how to pilot the TARDIS than you do. You got it HERE! That's further
than I ever took it. Grandfather never let me do much more than 'park'
it."
"But you at least know what each of
the bits are. I hardly understand any of it. There might be something
you can do. Oh please, Susan, please. We need you."
"I have Sukie to look after. And David
will be home for dinner and…" She stopped and looked at Rose.
"Oh, what am I saying? I'm blathering about babies and cooking…and
Grandfather could be dying." She grabbed Sukie from the high chair
and a bag of disposable nappies. "Come on. I just hope we can get
back before David gets home, or he will go spare. He is already annoyed
at grandfather for giving the boys too many ideas."
She swept through to the car port, Rose almost
running to catch up. When she reached the TARDIS she stopped for a moment.
"Going to YOUR house is the furthest I've been in the TARDIS for
so many years. I'm almost afraid to…" She touched the door
frame and felt its vibration. "Oh, I am being silly. This IS my dear,
beloved TARDIS." She opened the door and stepped inside. "Though
I don't know WHAT he did to the interior." She looked at the boys,
sitting on the sofa and ran to them, embracing them in her arms.
"We're all right, mum," the boys
said. "But granddad… You have to come back with us and get
him."
"I'm going to try," she told them.
"Here… look after your sister for me, and Rose and I will see
what we can do."She put Sukie on the sofa with them and she and Rose
went to the console. "You know, it used to be easier
to read than this. I honestly don't KNOW what he's done to it. But…
well…"
As Susan moved around the console, Rose couldn't help thinking that she
looked like The Doctor at work. She had the same apparently limitless
energy about her.
"But I don't know if I can do it, either,"
she said as she took them into temporal orbit. "What you said - about
the buffer - it shed the coordinates before they could be fixed. And we've
no way of working it out. I could get us into the right time zone and
at least in orbit around Earth, I think. But we couldn't land the TARDIS
even close to where grandfather is."
"Let's do that, at least," Rose
said. "At least that's closer than we've got until now."
"I don't know what help it would be," Susan sighed. But anyway…"
She set the coordinates.
Thursday night turned into Friday morning
and The Doctor fell asleep. His patients were all quiet and he was able
to lie down for a little while. He let his body relax. He tried to still
his mind. He at least put as many thoughts out of his mind as he could.
The only one he tried to hold onto was the image of his Rose. He tried
to keep that one in the front of his mind. "Oh, Rose, my love,"
he whispered. "Will I ever see you again? Where are you?" He
closed his eyes and tried to imagine holding her in his arms. The images
came easily. He knew he had held her countless times. She WAS HIS Rose.
It wasn't just wishful thinking, a fantasy of what might be. She WAS real.
"My love…" he whispered as sleep came over him.
He woke suddenly, with sweat pouring from him and started up. He saw in
the half light of a grey pre-dawn General Pearse standing over him, shaking
him awake. "What…"
"I
thought I ought to wake you. You were so very agitated in your sleep…calling
out strange, worrying things…"
"I had a nightmare," he said, and
he tried to remember what it was. "I… I have been in a war
before this… I was dreaming of what happened then…"
He had dreamt of the death of his home world,
he remembered. He had seen his planet burn from a place of safety in space.
He had watched an inferno engulf it in a matter of minutes, powerless
to help. He had heard the screams of the dying. And those screams haunted
him, would continue to haunt him until the day he died.
He had seen his planet burn….
He sat up suddenly and looked around. This
was not his planet. The realisation was startling. He was an alien here.
But he looked like everyone else, and none of them suspected. They must
have accepted him among themselves. He must have made a new home here
as a refugee from the holocaust. He wondered if he was the only one. Was
SHE from there, too? From Gallifrey - his home world. Or was that a secret
he guarded even from those he loved?
"We're all very overwrought," Pearse
said, and he flinched, not realising his friend was still there beside
him. "I don't know what this day will bring."
I do, he thought to himself. By this evening
this building will be an inferno, too. And we will have to evacuate, in
the face of the enemy gun placements. And some won't survive.
And did he deserve to ask the fates to let him survive again? He had been
spared the last time. He couldn't ask for a second miracle. The inferno
or a hail of bullets - both terrible ways to die.
"Oh, my Rose," he whispered, putting that beautiful vision in
front of the sad, hurtful ones. "I want to live, to be with you again."
"That's as much as I can do," Susan said. "We're in orbit
above Earth - on April 28th, 1916. Somewhere down there… he's there…
if he's alive…"
"He's alive," Chris said. "I can feel him."
"Oh, Chris." Susan looked at her son and felt so deeply for
him. He was carrying an adult's burden and it was only a few weeks since
his tenth birthday. She went to him and gathered him in her arms. "Oh
my darling little boy," she said. "Is there something of you
left under all he has tried to teach you?"
"Mum," Chris murmured, reaching
his small arms to put about her neck. "Mum, I love you."
"Oh, darling," Susan said with
a smile. "That's HIM teaching you to say that, even. Ten year old
boys are NEVER that sentimental. But it's something. He hasn't turned
you both into cold hearted, logic thinking Time Lords with no feelings
for anything or anybody."
"Time Lords are not like that, really," Davie said.
"Well, they always seemed it to me,"
Susan answered. "They made him into such a bitter man who was so
hard to love.
"But you DID love him," Rose said.
"And you still do. And I… I love him too." She looked
at the viewscreen. It was already late afternoon in the British Isles.
She could see by the way the shadow of the night travelled around the
Earth. According to what she read, it was about dusk that the evacuation
of the Post Office began. They had to get to him before then or they would
not know where to find him at all, even if he survived the machine-guns.
The
Doctor had less to do now. Mid-afternoon most of the injured men had been
taken under a Red Cross flag and surrendered in order to allow them real
medical aid. The only one who remained was Connolly, the second-in-command
of the rebel army. The Doctor would have had him go too, but he refused.
He wanted to see it through. The Doctor admired his courage, but he was
powerless to treat his wound and the man was in such constant pain that
even his special power to ease suffering was strained. The only consolation
was in knowing that it would all be over tomorrow. The rebels would surrender
on Saturday afternoon and he would get medical treatment - if only for
a few days before he was court-martialled and executed.
The Doctor hated the death penalty. That
was another thought that came unbidden and yet seemed to be true when
he tested it. He wondered why it was that he was so set against it, even
for his mortal enemies. He had a strong feeling he had seen at least one
such enemy put to death and had not taken any pleasure from it. He also
had the vaguest notion of being on the receiving end of such a punishment,
but that made no sense since he was here, alive. Had he been falsely accused
and reprieved before such a sentence? Why did his life present so many
odd questions?
He knew for sure that there was no reprieve
for Connolly, or for his friend Pearse, and many others. They would all
die within a very short time. And he couldn't change that. The thought
made him angry and sad at the same time.

"I can feel him stronger here,"
Chris said. "I think because we ARE in the same time now. I can feel
him."
"Is he in danger?" Rose asked.
"Is he afraid?"
"That proves nothing," Susan said. "He's never afraid EVEN
when he is in danger."
"Yes, he is," Rose answered her. "He just never shows it."
"He's tired, and angry, and sad," Chris told them. "And
he feels there is nothing he can do about the fact that people are going
to die."
"He shouldn't even be trying," Rose said. "He told us this
was one of those events that he couldn't interfere with."
"I'm trying to talk to him," Chris continued. "I think
he might be able to hear me, but he doesn't seem to understand what it
is. He thinks he's just imagining things."
"Oh, keep trying," Rose told him. "Don't give up on him.
Not as long as he's alive."
"No," Susan agreed. "Don't give up. But Chris, don't hurt
yourself, either. Tell me if it's too much."
The decision had been taken. The Post Office was going to be evacuated.
The upper floors were on fire already and it was only a matter of time.
They were going to escape through a hole broken through from the back
sorting office to the street beyond. They had to pass in front of a gun
emplacement at the end of the street to get to safety, but the leaders
had weighed up the risks. They were going to try.
The
Doctor listened to their plans silently. He knew it would be dangerous.
He knew which among the men there would die. He looked at them and knew,
just as if it was tattooed on their foreheads. He could not look at them.
He turned from where they were forming up into ranks to brave the onslaught
and walked away. The building was going to be fully alight in another
hour at the most. There was already smoke in the air. He slowed his breathing
so that it didn't affect him so much - and then wondered how he could
do that.
He wondered, too, about the voices he seemed
to be hearing. This was no time for hallucinations. Yet he couldn't shake
the child's voice that kept calling him GRANDDAD.
He must be going mad. He wasn't sure how old
he was, but he couldn't be more than forty-five. He was nobody's grandfather.
The voices made no sense.
The voices in his head were not making sense! He laughed. Since when did
voices in people's heads make sense? It was a sign that they were becoming
unhinged. Why WOULD the voices make sense? He fought against it as he
prepared to be among the last to evacuate the building. He had to have
all his wits to survive this dangerous manoeuvre. He didn't need his own
head conspiring against him.
"Susan…" Rose said, as Chris
sighed and shook his head and said it was no good. He was fighting him,
instead of listening to him. "Susan, why don't you do it? You're
Gallifreyan. And I know you CAN talk to him telepathically. You've done
it before."
"In the same ROOM," Susan protested.
"My telepathy is rudimentary. Grandfather is the only person I CAN
talk to that way."
"Distance doesn't matter," Davie
said. "Mum, please try. Hold onto us, and we'll help." Davie
put his hand in hers and she sat on the sofa with her two sons and the
sleeping baby. They joined hands and connected first with each other.
Rose watched them. She couldn't hear their thoughts, but she COULD see
their faces and she knew that a precious thing was happening between the
three of them. Then Susan tried to reach out to her grandfather.
"GRANDFATHER," Susan called to him out loud and in her head.
"Grandfather, can you hear me? Please answer me.…"
"Granddad always says the signal is stronger if you just say it in
your head," Davie told her.
"I know," Susan answered. "But
I've never been able to do it… not over distances anyway. This is
the only way I know how."
"He heard you," Chris said.
"What?" Susan looked at him.
"He heard you. But he didn't understand."
"Grandfather," she said again. "It's me, Susan…"
"He doesn't understand," Chris
told her. "Because he doesn't know he IS a grandfather. He doesn't
know who he is, or who you are."
"He's lost so much of himself?" Susan asked, biting her lip.
Then she took a deep breath and used the same word that she had used once
before to get his attention when he was not listening to her.
"Chrístõdavõreendiamœndhærtmallõupdracœfiredelunmiancuimhne
de Lœngbærrow!" Susan screamed and even Rose felt the
psychic resonance as she put every last ounce of her telepathic capabilities
into the message.
-----------
"WHAT?" The Doctor jumped as he
felt the message
in his head. He stopped in his tracks and moved back from the broken wall.
Nobody noticed he was no longer with the rearguard.
"That's your name, stupid," he felt the woman's voice tell him,
and he believed her. It was an outlandish idea, but it actually fitted.
It felt right.
"Who are you?" he asked. "Where are you?"
"Never mind. Just… take your sonic screwdriver out of your
pocket and tell me the co-ordinates for where you are."
"My….WHAT?" His brow furrowed for a moment and then he
did as she said. He didn't consciously know WHAT he was doing but he reached
into the inside pocket of his jacket and took out the strange object that
was there. He turned the interlocking rings to a setting he seemed to
know without thinking. He held it up and looked into the tiny LED panel
and read aloud the long number that it displayed.
"Ok," the woman said. "Hang in there, we're coming for
you." She paused. "Grandfather, just so you know, even though
I am boiling mad at you for getting my children into danger, and for getting
yourself into so much trouble and for dragging me out here to get you…
I LOVE YOU."
The voice stopped as suddenly as it had started and he felt strangely
lonely afterwards. He looked around the empty room. The heat and smoke
were becoming unbearable now. Nobody could survive here for very much
longer. But he knew he couldn't leave. "Hang in there," she
had said. "We're coming for you."
"Doctor!" he turned and saw Pearse
coming back through the gap in the wall. "I came back to check everyone
was away. What are you doing?"
“I’m not sure,” he said.
“But my destiny is different to yours. I’m not meant to be
following you out there. You should go. You know as well as I do your
fate is written. Maybe mine is, too. But not here.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Neither do I, but please go. Don’t
worry about me. I’m going to be ok.”
Pearse looked at him and though he was NOT
psychic The Doctor thought he understood for a moment more than he could
begin to explain in mere words.
He grasped his hand firmly. “Goodbye,
Doctor. I doubt either of us are fated to meet again.”
“No,” The Doctor sighed. “Goodbye.”
And Pearse left, gone to his short and very certain destiny. The Doctor
stood there wondering about his. As he did, he heard a strange but even
more strangely, a very familiar, noise and a breeze disturbed the smoke
filled air. And then, to his amazement, he seemed to see two places at
once. The sorting office of the General Post Office faded away to be replaced
by a strange cavernous room lit by a green light from a central column
that was moving up and down. 
Before he could wonder about where he was, he found himself enfolded in
the arms of the woman he had known all along as Rose. She kissed him frantically
over and over and sobbed with joy. He was still confused but the one thing
he did know was that he loved this woman, and he closed his arms around
her and kissed her in return.
"Rose?" he whispered. "My Rose?"
"Yes, Doctor," she said. "My Doctor."
He saw another woman out of the corner of his eye; older, dark of hair
and eye, pressing something on the strange contraption in the middle of
the room, and he felt the floor beneath him vibrate. He looked up at the
viewscreen and saw the interior of the burning GPO disappear. Moments
later, he was looking at Earth from orbit.
"Temporal orbit," he murmured. And wondered what that meant.
Then the woman came towards him. She pulled
him from Rose's arms with a strength he would hardly expect from a woman
and first slapped him hard across the face then put her arms around him
and hugged him.
"Grandfather," she said tearfully. "Oh, my grandfather,
I am so glad you're alive."
Grandfather? She was the one who had called him that. He looked at her.
She was too old to be his grandchild, surely.
But....
How old WAS he?
He looked around his TARDIS.
TARDIS?
Yes. TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. HIS time and space
travel ship that he had owned for over 700 years. That he had travelled
the universe in, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends, compansions,
family. He remembered travelling with Susan, his granddaughter. When she
was younger than she was now, and HE looked much older.
"Susan…" Suddenly he knew her. Suddenly he knew everything.
More than everything. The whole of time and space, the knowledge of the
universe came crowding into his head where it had always been. If he was
not being hugged by two women at the same time he probably would have
fallen down. The shock was overwhelming.
He knew WHO he was.
And who he was…
....was one of the most extraordinary beings in the universe.
And…
....one of the most LOVED.
As the women both hugged him he was aware, too, of the boys. They were
trying to reach him as well. He let the women go for a moment as he bent
and embraced them. His GREAT-grandchildren, the heirs to all that fantastic
knowledge and power his brain was buzzing with.
He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. The love emanating from them,
overwhelming his telepathic senses, was enough.
"We're going home," Susan said firmly. She walked to the console.
"We're ALL going home." The boys began to protest, but the look
on her face silenced them. The Doctor also looked surprised at the way
she had taken control of the TARDIS and of their lives, but Rose reclaimed
him, putting her arms about his shoulders. He looked at her.
And nothing else mattered.
"We ARE home," he said, holding her so close their THREE hearts
seemed as one. "The only home I know."
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